Compositions while Commuting … by Liz KR

Fixer of Broken Things

Here I sit alone again while others hearts and lives I mend…

Thoughts and feelings course through me while I struggle in silence. I look around where is my guidance?

Maybe it’s my karmic debt? Maybe this lifetime it will be paid and I can find peace and love fully in the next.

Have someone who leaves their comfort for me, allowing me to fully be free.

I am the fixer of broken things, broken people, broken love, broken wings..

But who shall fix me? Or am I to be the universes fixer for Eternity?

I used to sit alone in the dark,

because as a child things were really never easy,

I’ll spare you the details because some times they still make me queasy.

Back and forth from bedrooms I went,

And the days, weeks, months, and years were spent, but many nights I still sat alone, in the dark.

When I was about 15 there he was illumination,

We laughed, loved, and made a big deal even out of small celebrations.

Well things slowed down, and his presence seemed to wear a frown I guess you could say our relationship turned bland.

He would say it is what it is, but really what did I expect from a man who only uses salt to season his ribs.

So it ended I was physically sick, I hurt and I wept, and back into the dark I went and I went quick.

Overtime I began to heal, explore, travel, and think, girl why did you let him fool ya.

I opened my heart and my tastebuds and learned the world had so much more flavor than a couple drops of cholula.

Again things slowed and I thought maybe my heart has finally mended.

I sought relationships and situation-ships from a list of mutual friends, however in person that’s where the mutualities end.

But I made good friends, I found a partner, and made a home,

A home where I sometimes still feel alone.

I can’t think that though I can’t quit, I have love, passion, and a vehicle that’s finally paid off, haven’t I made it?!

But every now and then when I get home and put that vehicle in park, I still feel like a child alone in the dark.